i jhust puked up my retainher.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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