I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
