playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
