and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
