Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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