on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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