and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
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Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All I want is dick and wine.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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