so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
nutella sex= disaster
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
