the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize