Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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