you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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