when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
