I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
