so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
as a side note pls kill me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
