I want to make a zoo with you.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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