So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
