eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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