"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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