No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!