and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.