Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
