i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize