Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
