You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
