yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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