How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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