Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i love accidental penises.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
