i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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