There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
