capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
