Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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