When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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