I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
