YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I love having hate sex.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
