Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
