either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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