1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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