I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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