so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
