He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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