So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
