I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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