i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
