it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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