I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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