i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
