just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
