Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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