How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize