Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
