hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I understand Curling. That high.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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