Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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