You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
