Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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