Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
