things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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