hell yes lets make some ravioli
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
