we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
