Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize