Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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