I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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